There are always moments in our lives where we lose a friend to an incident you may not ever be ready for. Prior to the incident you could describe your friendship/relationship with someone as near perfect, one that you have full trust with that person. If you remove that single incident you would most definitely have a great relationship, but unfortunately life doesn’t have a “retry” button.
People come and go in your life. Whether you grow up, move away from the place you came from or just new opportunities that seem to have you spending less time with old friends and more time with new. Those things give you little control over. But I am not really talking about that.
I hear it too often that people have a good relationship with someone and then there comes a day where you or the other party becomes the culprit of betrayal. I hear the phrase: “Things were going so well until… “, then it’s over.
And I must say, certain instances can be extremely hard to see any reason to forgive that person, but in most cases, the other side needs to be heard and considered. Too often are we quick to judge, quick to assume and even quicker to get angry. There is the good saying of “don’t make promises when you are happy, and don’t make decisions when you are angry”. And it is so true. At times we are just too quick in our decision making.
I am going through a book called The Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn. In one section he speaks of the Hebrew word: Rachamim.
In English, most words can be plural and singular. But in Hebrew, certain words can only be either. Now the word “Rachamim” means mercies(plural). There is no singular form. It’s almost as if to say God’s mercies are infinite. That He always forgives. And to top that up, the word for sin in Hebrew has only the singular form. Almost as if to say God’s mercy is greater. Compared to His mercy our sin is minute. God has more mercy than you have sin.
In that regard I feel that we need to forgive more often than we probably do (myself included). They have earned our mercy but we still choose to hold grudges. Some instances will most certainly not be easy to forgive and it will take time and perhaps even space from that person/people, but most instances there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. But if you feel that instance is too difficult for you to be in the place that you were then you don’t need to stay friends but forgiving that person is extremely important. If you aren’t ready to forgive in person then write a letter that doesn’t even need to be delivered, it is just the start to the healing and moving on process.
We all make mistakes in our lives, but don’t make the mistake of not forgiving the people who have wronged you.