What is the ultimate test to determine whether you can trust someone?
You just trust them.
That may sound rather absurd, but I will get back to you in a moment regarding that.
Till the recent passing of my mother my parents were one of the greatest marriages I have ever known. They were a unique and wonderful example of what marriage should be like and how each person compliments the other in their endeavours. With all their great qualities they lacked something rather important:
For as long as I can remember, my siblings and I were stuck in a paradox where we were scolded (for a lack of a better term), for not helping around the house. Then, when we did offer to tend to the house, there was supposedly “nothing that we could do”. It was as if we were simply not capable of doing anything. I remember chipping too many plates as a kid that my mother said I could never wash dishes again till I could do it properly. That got me 10 years out of that duty! Accidental genius was a good look on me.
But why would we never be permitted to help out when we put ourselves out there?
I could be wrong but I believe it can be the same as the scenario with the dishes, they were probably more concerned about us breaking something than allowing them to focus on other things in and around the household. Many hands make light work they say, but not in their case.
I’m sure it is not an easy feat being a parent and getting that balance of giving your child a life in which they have fun and grow through adventure but yet be responsible by doing tasks and meeting certain requirements. And not only that, the level of which you give freedom to your kids, and the level you show restraint, is extremely important too. I think with my parents they just gave us too much responsibility when we weren’t ready for it, and then not much for when we were ready.
But anyways, I think you get the point. What I am struggling with is the same problem though, I have a new person that works as my assistant, but I seem at many times frustrated with his productiveness and his end result. Many times I would rather do it myself because he is just too slow or I don’t believe he can do the right thing. But after 2 or so months he has been doing a good job. Perhaps slow at times, but I don’t think I have ever gone back after a couple of days to fix something he messed up. At times there were small things that I would ask him to fix that wouldn’t take long, but never too much for me to really classify it as a mistake, just a moment of learning. And more so, he has taught me a lot of things and had some creative ideas that I will use for many years to come.
So going back to my first statement was actually said by Craig Groeschel in one of his videos at the Global Leadership Summit of 2019 if I remember correctly. And he made a very good point: See what they can do by giving them an opportunity to prove their abilities and trustworthiness. By doing that you are giving them the belief that you believe in them. Trust goes both ways, if you aren’t comfortable with someone, they will feel that tension and probably reciprocate your disbelief.
But of course, you can’t trust someone you just met to look after your earnings, but getting to that place can be achieved by starting out small. Just with a small amount.
We live in a time where crime rates are probably higher than it has ever been. But you will be so surprised to know that when you ask a complete stranger to help you, they usually do. And out of pure kindness with no hidden agenda. It helps to perceive that you can trust someone, and to express a sense of positivity. Believing in someone can give them the motivation they need.
What I am not saying is trust every single person, because there are still burglars out there. But don’t forget the good that there is out there.
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud- Maya Angelou