Why should you forgive someone?

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Rekindling what was once a close friendship

Loving someone is difficult because there is a high-risk high-reward to it.
You can share the things most people will never know about you, have memories
that can never be compared to anything else, you could share your life to that

But what if one day that person does something that will change the whole spectrum of your bond with that person, it will never be the same, and you will be left heartbroken and thinking why did I ever open up and should I ever be that person who puts their heart out there for one day to be broken again?

I lost a dear friend once and got my heart torn apart.

I met this person when I was only 5 years-old, or 5 years-young should I say.
We were in the same school for 7 years. Honestly we were not always the greatest
of friends, I always struggled to talk to girls due to my insecurities and shyness
until only our last year in the same school did we really have a bond. And it was strong.

From then on I truly loved her and the next two years after that I never saw her.
I had the cheapest of phones that could only do phone calls and SMS while I don’t think she had a phone for quite some time.

Those two years were tough and I could never find that same friendship with anyone else and I was left yearning to see her once again.

The year after that I moved schools which originally was about a 30 minute drive from her to just up the road from her!

Must be destiny I thought.

Eventually I did see her again and as time went by our friendship started to rekindle. Seeing her again after two years was almost like seeing a flash of heaven. I was thrilled.

Our friendship grew stronger than ever before and I was content with life.

But there came a time where our friendship took a wild turn.

Our last year in school we planned a great adventure for the 2 of us and another 2 friends as well to come and pretty much from there it all went haywire.

There were many instances where I felt betrayed and left in the dark till one day it just became the last straw. I was devastated but I felt I had to let her go.

I was left heartbroken and a lot of hurt, wanting to never trust any woman again.
The things that we shared now became difficult to even look at. At the time I was so glad that our paths took such a wild turn that we weren’t even on the same continent.

After a few months I started dealing with the pain. a large thanks goes to some of my friends that I met that year, showing such kindness and love. It gave me a fresh perspective of woman and just people in general. I also had to deal with all my emotions spiritually though. Breaking soul-ties with her, praying for forgiveness and forgiving myself and ultimately forgiving her.

So eventually I did forgive her. I still wouldn’t know if I would talk to her properly but I had no more resentment to her, no more pain.

It was only till about a month ago that I saw her again and got to deal with the past.
The real truth came out and I was finally taken out of the dark as to what actually
happened. I was not only completely okay with what she put me through but I even wanted to become friends again. And so did she.

After all the hardship and pain we both went through we were still able to deal with the past, forgive each other and actually move on.

Someone once told me when I still had a lot of resentment to her that if we could somehow push aside our differences we could build a stronger bond than ever before.

I feel that if I could forgive her after all that she has done then I can forgive anyone.

“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself from God’s part.” – Matthew 6:14.

It is only the start of this brand new friendship but if we could go through so much pain
and still be friends surely there is more at stake for us. Surely there is a future.

Why you should never judge others…ever

I’m sure most will say, “It’s pretty obvious why you shouldn’t: because the Bible says you shouldn’t.”

If you are a Christian then I’m sure you would believe that question, but why not is the real question.

“Do not judge or you too will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1).

Let me put it to you this way, if you had to have had it hard your whole life and see someone struggle to do something you can do with your eyes closed you might get angry, you might judge that person.

But do you even know who that person is and what has happened to him over his life? How can you judge a man based on what he is doing now without knowing every detail of his past? Perhaps the other person never worked a day in their life before so this easy job you could do is something quite the opposite for the other person.

Now the examples can go on forever and you can judge people for so many different things, but I urge you to attempt to never judge others.

How to judge people less:

1. Identify a time where you have judged someone.

2. Ask yourself why you feel that way about the person.

3. Try to put yourself in their shoes

4. Just love the person for who they are and pretty soon you may see a change.

5. Confront with careful instruction and caution if you feel that you can help.

6. Know that judging others less does take time.

I had an issue with judging others about a year back, until I put myself in their shoes. I felt horrible for even thinking that way of others. Now I will never do it again.

“It is foolish to jump to conclusions before investigating the facts.” (Proverbs 18:13).

Bottom line I would say is to love others just for who they are. It’s not easy. I remember my mom telling me to always love someone even if you don’t like them. It can be a hard concept to understand(definitely was for me), but once it finally clicked I stopped judging and started to accept others for who they were.

God should be the only one to judge because He knew you from your mothers womb. He formed you out of dust into something beautiful. He knows every detail about you so therefore I think it’s suitable for Him to judge.

If you read Psalm 139 it further expresses the knowledge God has about you.

Lord, you have examined me

and know all about me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.

You know my thoughts before I think them.

3 You know where I go and where I lie down.

You know everything I do.

4 Lord, even before I say a word,

you already know it.

5 You are all around me—in front and in back—

and have put your hand on me.

6 Your knowledge is amazing to me;

it is more than I can understand.

7 Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?

Where can I run from you?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.

If I lie down in the grave, you are there.

9 If I rise with the sun in the east

and settle in the west beyond the sea,

10 even there you would guide me.

With your right hand you would hold me.

11 I could say, “The darkness will hide me.

Let the light around me turn into night.”

12 But even the darkness is not dark to you.

The night is as light as the day;

darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made my whole being;

you formed me in my mother’s body.

14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.

What you have done is wonderful.

I know this very well.

15 You saw my bones being formed

as I took shape in my mother’s body.

When I was put together there,

16 you saw my body as it was formed.

All the days planned for me

were written in your book

before I was one day old.

17 God, your thoughts are precious to me.

They are so many!

18 If I could count them,

they would be more than all the grains of sand.

When I wake up,

I am still with you.

19 God, I wish you would kill the wicked!

Get away from me, you murderers!

20 They say evil things about you.

Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.

21 Lord, I hate those who hate you;

I hate those who rise up against you.

22 I feel only hate for them;

they are my enemies.

23 God, examine me and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any bad thing in me.

Lead me on the road to everlasting life.