Finding “The One”

Being in love with someone means that you feel your life is complete. Whatever could happen in the future whether it is positive or negative will not affect your joy you find in that person. When you find ‘the one’ you feel complete. You feel the desire to always make them happy and if you could do something that would bring them joy you would do it.

But what if you haven’t found the one yet? What if you just haven’t met that person yet?

There was a time where I thought I found ‘the one’. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and she had certain qualities that you don’t normally find in people. The most incredible thing about her was that she was such an inspiring person. And that was what drew me to her.

She wasn’t ‘the one’ though.

There was nothing wrong with her I just eventually discovered that she was not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So I’m back at square one. 7 billion people approximately in this world. Let’s say 3.5 is woman. So I can cross of 1 name. Great progress!

So what’s the next step? How can I find her?

After months of trying to figure it out I came to a conclusion that will probably not satisfy you but I feel content at this point of time.

There are tons of people that I could be with but I want the perfect match. You can make any marriage work but why struggle now to make it work in 5 years or rather wait for the perfect one and deal with the things that will affect the relationship before you go into the relationship and for her to do the same?

There is also something else I would like to address. Something that I have recently discovered. Rather tiring yourself out looking for someone that inspires you, why not become the inspirational person you would like to meet?

To do that you evidently need to start doing crazy things. Things that excite you but also freak you out. Things that you will never forget. It doesn’t need to be something you aren’t ready for yet but something that will scare you at least on some level. Then one day that thing you thought you never could will be something you will laugh at because it is such an easy feat.

So start daring yourself. Do crazy things. If you’ve got bad memory then just do unforgettable things.

What crazy things have you done and what are the things you are planning to do?

I am also not a hypocrite so I will also be doing things that entice me and of course bring those stories to light.

They say you are the product of the people you spend your time with. I’m sure it will be the same with the person you love. So once you become an inspiration to others you may find ‘the one’.

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The Good, the Bad and the Smelly

There is something most people don’t actually know about me that is rather peculiar. That is my sense of smell. Since as long as I can remember my smell has been non-existent. I could not smell the most obvious things which in a way was rather lucky for my family has a reputation for emitting the most horrendous odours at any given time, myself included. It never really had an impact on me and there weren’t many times where I wish I could smell like a ‘normal person’.

This past week however, was a big change in my life. I honestly felt different on that day. My work took me to the mountains on that specific day (which was the first time ever actually) and my colleague asked me if I could smell the scent of the untouched nature. Now usually I take a deep breath and act in bewilderment and say something like: “Hmm, smells great” but when I took that breath I could
honestly smell the fresh air that the mountain was giving. It made the hike even more special to witness another aspect contributing to the beauty of what I was experiencing in that part of the world.

What made it even better was that I was able to smell other things over the week such as diesel, pancakes and some not so nice scents. Even now I can smell certain things that are around me that I never could.

Through this brand new experience I have learned a couple new things.

Before I was shielded from smelling anything nasty or peculiar but that also meant I would not be able to smell things that were beautiful and fresh. So to be able to smell a rose or an enticing meal of food I head to brace the fact that I might also smell someones gas or a dirty room.

And that was the choice Adam and Eve basically chose, to give up the perfect place just to be able to know what is wrong as well as what is right, to be able to see the evil as well as the good.

Being able to know the difference makes you appreciate the times where you see the most amazing things.

You will only be able to know what true love is if you have experienced the opposite (which doesn’t mean you need to find someone to break your heart, just learn from other people). You will only know how to treat others when you have experienced it on both levels.

And that is just life. I am so glad now that I have the ability to smell things regardless of whether it is a good odour or not because it is that extra beauty one can find. Our life is so intricate that there are multiple ways to appreciate life and sometimes the scent of nature is all you need to shift your emotions.

As Jon Foreman says:”The shadow proves the sunshine”, meaning that even in dark places and dark times, positive things are happening in the world.

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Why should you forgive someone?

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Rekindling what was once a close friendship

Loving someone is difficult because there is a high-risk high-reward to it.
You can share the things most people will never know about you, have memories
that can never be compared to anything else, you could share your life to that
person.

But what if one day that person does something that will change the whole spectrum of your bond with that person, it will never be the same, and you will be left heartbroken and thinking why did I ever open up and should I ever be that person who puts their heart out there for one day to be broken again?

I lost a dear friend once and got my heart torn apart.

I met this person when I was only 5 years-old, or 5 years-young should I say.
We were in the same school for 7 years. Honestly we were not always the greatest
of friends, I always struggled to talk to girls due to my insecurities and shyness
until only our last year in the same school did we really have a bond. And it was strong.

From then on I truly loved her and the next two years after that I never saw her.
I had the cheapest of phones that could only do phone calls and SMS while I don’t think she had a phone for quite some time.

Those two years were tough and I could never find that same friendship with anyone else and I was left yearning to see her once again.

The year after that I moved schools which originally was about a 30 minute drive from her to just up the road from her!

Must be destiny I thought.

Eventually I did see her again and as time went by our friendship started to rekindle. Seeing her again after two years was almost like seeing a flash of heaven. I was thrilled.

Our friendship grew stronger than ever before and I was content with life.

But there came a time where our friendship took a wild turn.

Our last year in school we planned a great adventure for the 2 of us and another 2 friends as well to come and pretty much from there it all went haywire.

There were many instances where I felt betrayed and left in the dark till one day it just became the last straw. I was devastated but I felt I had to let her go.

I was left heartbroken and a lot of hurt, wanting to never trust any woman again.
The things that we shared now became difficult to even look at. At the time I was so glad that our paths took such a wild turn that we weren’t even on the same continent.

After a few months I started dealing with the pain. a large thanks goes to some of my friends that I met that year, showing such kindness and love. It gave me a fresh perspective of woman and just people in general. I also had to deal with all my emotions spiritually though. Breaking soul-ties with her, praying for forgiveness and forgiving myself and ultimately forgiving her.

So eventually I did forgive her. I still wouldn’t know if I would talk to her properly but I had no more resentment to her, no more pain.

It was only till about a month ago that I saw her again and got to deal with the past.
The real truth came out and I was finally taken out of the dark as to what actually
happened. I was not only completely okay with what she put me through but I even wanted to become friends again. And so did she.

After all the hardship and pain we both went through we were still able to deal with the past, forgive each other and actually move on.

Someone once told me when I still had a lot of resentment to her that if we could somehow push aside our differences we could build a stronger bond than ever before.

I feel that if I could forgive her after all that she has done then I can forgive anyone.

“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself from God’s part.” – Matthew 6:14.

It is only the start of this brand new friendship but if we could go through so much pain
and still be friends surely there is more at stake for us. Surely there is a future.

Why you should never judge others…ever

I’m sure most will say, “It’s pretty obvious why you shouldn’t: because the Bible says you shouldn’t.”

If you are a Christian then I’m sure you would believe that question, but why not is the real question.

“Do not judge or you too will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1).

Let me put it to you this way, if you had to have had it hard your whole life and see someone struggle to do something you can do with your eyes closed you might get angry, you might judge that person.

But do you even know who that person is and what has happened to him over his life? How can you judge a man based on what he is doing now without knowing every detail of his past? Perhaps the other person never worked a day in their life before so this easy job you could do is something quite the opposite for the other person.

Now the examples can go on forever and you can judge people for so many different things, but I urge you to attempt to never judge others.

How to judge people less:

1. Identify a time where you have judged someone.

2. Ask yourself why you feel that way about the person.

3. Try to put yourself in their shoes

4. Just love the person for who they are and pretty soon you may see a change.

5. Confront with careful instruction and caution if you feel that you can help.

6. Know that judging others less does take time.

I had an issue with judging others about a year back, until I put myself in their shoes. I felt horrible for even thinking that way of others. Now I will never do it again.

“It is foolish to jump to conclusions before investigating the facts.” (Proverbs 18:13).

Bottom line I would say is to love others just for who they are. It’s not easy. I remember my mom telling me to always love someone even if you don’t like them. It can be a hard concept to understand(definitely was for me), but once it finally clicked I stopped judging and started to accept others for who they were.

God should be the only one to judge because He knew you from your mothers womb. He formed you out of dust into something beautiful. He knows every detail about you so therefore I think it’s suitable for Him to judge.

If you read Psalm 139 it further expresses the knowledge God has about you.

Lord, you have examined me

and know all about me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.

You know my thoughts before I think them.

3 You know where I go and where I lie down.

You know everything I do.

4 Lord, even before I say a word,

you already know it.

5 You are all around me—in front and in back—

and have put your hand on me.

6 Your knowledge is amazing to me;

it is more than I can understand.

7 Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?

Where can I run from you?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.

If I lie down in the grave, you are there.

9 If I rise with the sun in the east

and settle in the west beyond the sea,

10 even there you would guide me.

With your right hand you would hold me.

11 I could say, “The darkness will hide me.

Let the light around me turn into night.”

12 But even the darkness is not dark to you.

The night is as light as the day;

darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made my whole being;

you formed me in my mother’s body.

14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.

What you have done is wonderful.

I know this very well.

15 You saw my bones being formed

as I took shape in my mother’s body.

When I was put together there,

16 you saw my body as it was formed.

All the days planned for me

were written in your book

before I was one day old.

17 God, your thoughts are precious to me.

They are so many!

18 If I could count them,

they would be more than all the grains of sand.

When I wake up,

I am still with you.

19 God, I wish you would kill the wicked!

Get away from me, you murderers!

20 They say evil things about you.

Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.

21 Lord, I hate those who hate you;

I hate those who rise up against you.

22 I feel only hate for them;

they are my enemies.

23 God, examine me and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any bad thing in me.

Lead me on the road to everlasting life.